I’m going to tell you who the absolute worst band in the world is. I’m going to finally reveal the answer to a question that has been puzzling scholars and destroying friendships since at least the 1930’s. It’s the question that caused literally millions of internet arguments (because that’s all the internet is good for. That and reading this blog.) Here it is. The answer. It’s a doozy.
The worst band in the world is….
NONE OF THEM
Now I’m sure that you’re all disappointed, you were hoping I’d say something controversial like The Beatles, Nirvana or Led Zeppelin (I would never say that about Led Zeppelin or the Beatles, don’t worry). “Andrew, how can you say there is no worst band, what about Creed, Nickelback or your music? You suck!” I’ll defer to the Dude on this one.
Every band has fans. Whether it’s one fan, or one hundred million, every band or artist has at least one person that adores their music. You may hate a band. You may think their lyrics are stupid, or their guitars are lame. You may think (wrongly) that electronic music requires no talent, or that old bands are “dad rock”, and therefore boring. That is all well and good, those are opinions and we are all entitled to them. The problem with internetland is that opinions get presented as facts. “I don’t like X band” becomes “Not only does X band suck, all of their fans are idiots who don’t know anything about music.” Naturally the fans of X band then get mad and suddenly the insults start flying. Pretty soon the comment section of whatever post or article the discussion started with is full of memes, cursing and comments about how small other peoples genitals are. That’s probably not what bands are intending when they make music.
Everyone gets sucked into these arguments from time to time. Somebody makes a negative comment about your favorite band and the next thing you know, you’ve spent three hours arguing with complete strangers on Facebook or Twitter, you’re late for work and you’ve gotten carpal tunnel syndrome from the sheer number of times you’ve typed our personal attacks that have nothing to do with the band in question.
The moral of the story is that there is no such thing as a “worst band in the world”. That doesn’t exist, and trying to find it is like the quest for the holy grail or the ark of the covenant. If Indiana Jones movies have taught us anything, it’s that some quests are just bad ideas.
Stop trying to prove that bands you don’t like “suck”. Instead, spend time sharing artists you love with other people. When it comes to music, if you like it, then it’s good, no matter what other people think (except for Creed).
Complain about (or preferably praise) bands on The Ultimate Sound Twitter page Follow @theusound