Tool Vocalist John Maynard Keynes Leaving Band; Plans To Become A Yorkshire Terrier

Big news. Thanks to Tyranny of Tradition for staying on top of the news.

The Tyranny of Tradition

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Citing fears of inflation and the dollar’s weakness against foreign currency, Tool vocalist John Maynard Keynes has decided to part ways with his band of nearly 20 years.  Keynes, whose work was strongly influenced by Bertrand Russell, King Crimson and the Melvins, has decided to drop out of the music scene for a while and focus on making claymation videos of economist David Ricardo being attacked by swarms of Marxist killer bees.

This is not the first time Tool has had to deal with the loss of a lead singer.  In 1958, singer and former beatnik Maynard G. Krebs was forced to leave the band after being arrested for selling nuclear secrets to the Soviets.  Krebs, who later went on to star on the television show The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, is still best known for studying how the body oxidizes carbohydrates.  He was 58.

Former Atlanta mayor…

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